What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

TEXT:

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What is one fantasy you have never told anyone about but really want to do?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why are so many US conservatives in this day and age still against racial mixing? They won't say it in public, but they are still against the mixing between Blacks and whites? Why?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.